If the GE2020 debate is a Chinese New Year gathering, and the candidates are the different types of uncle you meet, then Singapore Parliament will be like a classroom.
The Leader of the House will be like a class monitor or monitress, and the Members of Parliament (MPs) will be the students in class.
On 6 March during the Committee of Supply 2023 debate, Leader of the House Indranee Rajah aka the class monitress “lectured” the whole class and spoke about how the students in class should behave in order for the Parliament to be effective.
Because the Parliament is a place where our laws are made, the direction of the country is set, and the future of Singaporeans is determined. Cannot play play masak-masak one ah.
But you know one lah, when the class is big, surely got people with all sorts of pattern one. Got pattern still never mind. Imagine they like to di di siao siao disturb the class until the whole class need to stay back late because of them. Some more this class got 100 over people leh.
Lai lai let’s discuss a bit and identify some of the MPs who are like the classmates you might have when you were in school! Again, say first ah, this is for fun only hor, don’t scold lao niang please.
1. The outcast
In another word, 边缘人.
At one point, she was one of the most popular students in class because of the group she hung out with. Wherever she goes, she walk also maciam like got wind blow like that.
Until she got a bit too carried away with all the attention and 太爱表现 (too showy) that she decides to tell a big fat lie in class to the teachers so that teacher can make her a prefect. But 人算不如天算 (human’s calculation not as accurate as God’s calculation), her lie kena exposed big time until she got no choice but to come clean in class with her lies.
The group leader of that popular group she used to hang out with also 霸凌 her and kicked her out of the group and fasterly cut ties with her, sibei drama sia.
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2. The Big Mouth
Also known as the 大炮仙 in class who loves to brag and exaggerates things a lot.
To put it simply, he is basically the one who is always sibei loud in class.
Like to hao lian to the class and interrupt the class with his findings and accuse the teacher of teaching wrong things. But when the teacher ask him to justify his findings and back them up with proofs, he will go one big round and confuse the class because he is just being the dua pao that he is.
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Then hor he also likes to tell you how he managed to get into which happening c lub and got how many zha bor’s numbers he got, make you impress with him only. But when you ask him for photos or proof, he will act blur because actually in reality, he really got go to the clubs lah, but then he didn’t tell you he kena blocked by the bouncers outside the clubs because he didn’t want to pay for the club’s entrance fee.
In other words, he will only tell you the good things, but don’t tell you the bad things. Then when you call him out for it, he will act blur and say, “Sorry lor”.
3. The “cool kid”
Like someone who is the leader of the school’s basketball team you know? Sibei popular, and always got 小喽啰 (minions and underlings) follow them around in school one.
Thinks he calls the shots and like to challenge the teachers and speak up for the minorities in class. But actually he didn’t realise that by doing so, he is making the minorities feel even more 自卑 (inferior) and unbalanced, and therefore drawing the lines and dividing people up even more.
And not to mention, when someone threatens his image, he is also the first person who will kick that person under the bus. This one can refer back to point number 1.
4. The Teacher’s Pet
The one who always sit first row in class and is always well liked by the teacher.
Basically your PAP MPs lah hor.
When your jokers like Leong Mun Wai made a boo-boo in class, this classmate will always stand ready to shoot him down with facts and prove him wrong.
Then the rest of the class will be like, “ok lah ok lah, you are right. Can the class be dismissed liao a not?”