#LaoniangWalktheGround: Types of uncle you meet at CNY gathering (GE2020 edition)

Imagine the GE2020 debate is a Chinese New Year gathering, and the candidates are the different types of uncle you meet.

Say first ah, this is for fun only hor, don’t scold lao niang please.

The candidate representing PSP is like your nice uncle, will ask you how you are doing in school or at work, what CCA you join but won’t add too much value at your gathering.

He is one of those uncles that just sit down there and sip his Chinese tea and read newspaper.

So 没有存在感 (no presence) until you will ask, “Eh, just now that uncle, who is he ah?” when you leave the gathering.

Erm, yah so what is this uncle’s name ah?

Chee Soon Juan from SDP is the sibei grumpy uncle who like to complain about everything under the sun – why MRT so crowded, why GST must increase, why so many foreign talents etc. Everything you talk about he will also link it to high cost of living one.

He is the kind of uncle who like to 车大炮 macam he very smart with his research but actually most of what he tell you is not correct one.

Ah yes, he is also the kind of uncle who like to forward you all sorts of message on WhatsApp – but most of them are fake news.

Jamus Lim kor kor from the WP is like your youngest uncle who just came back from abroad to spend Chinese New Year with the family.

Speak super powderful England until all your aunties 😍 😍 😍 at him and then keep offering him bakkwa and pineapple tarts.

But when you jio him to play ban luck or mahjong, he will say he don’t know how to play and then go to one corner to scroll his iPhone.

Finally, Vivian Balakrishnan from PAP is your successful and rich uncle, can wear Apple watch but a bit don’t know what is fashion because the strap is xiao ugly.

He is also the very well-educated but sibei lor sor kind of uncle. He will nag at you and ask you to study hard. And then make you sit down, ask you what is your plan after university, what kind of job you want to do after graduating, which company you want to work in, and then discuss the possible outcomes with you that kind of uncle.

Then you go kitchen check how much AngBao he give you….. KNS! Popular bookstore voucher!


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